Tips for Catching the Bouquet

CPT__0001

By Kennedy Rose

 

Are you at your friend’s wedding with a date that you want to trap by social convention? Well, if you are, then we have some tips to help you catch that bouquet!

 

Training for Catching the Bouquet

Even if you haven’t found a date that you want to make feel obligated to marry you yet, don’t worry! That will come in due time. For now, you must train. You have to train like a football player and a ninja all rolled into one.

Practice catching to get the best hand-eye-coordination as possible. Have the little league team throw balls to you because they’re probably just as skilled as a bride throwing backwards.

Eat nothing but protein for the next six months. Raw eggs are a good source, as is raw meat. Warning labels are for wimps.

You must be able to bench press the weight of the largest bridesmaid at the wedding. Feel free to skip the bar and actually bench-press the girl instead. Benching a whole person will help you with strength and balance.

Squats are key to being able to hip-check a girl out of the way of the bouquet. Do as many squats as possible per day to get legs like The Hulk and a booty like Kim Kardashian.

You have to be prepared to get girls out of the way in order to get your clutches on that beautiful bouquet. Even if that means swiping a girl’s stiletto out from under her or body slamming another girl, you must do it.

 

Getting a Date

A right swipe on Tinder and the promise of an open bar is all you need to get a date to a wedding these days. Technology is amazing.

 

The Big Day

Size up your competition. Make sure the tall ones stand in the way back and make sure you’re in the front. It’s hard for the bride to see how far she’s throwing and she’ll probably aim for the front so it won’t go over everybody’s heads.

Be prepared to dive for that bouquet; getting down and dirty to achieve one’s goals is admirable. Keep your eyes on the prize.

 

 

These tips are guaranteed to help you catch the bouquet. Pinky swear.

102 Comments
  1. Everything is very open with a very clear description of the issues.
    It was really informative. Your site is very helpful.
    Thanks for sharing!

  2. Wonderful work! This is the kind of info that should be shared across the internet.
    Shame on Google for now not positioning this submit higher!
    Come on over and consult with my website . Thank you
    =)

  3. Great delivery. Outstanding arguments. Keep up the amazing spirit.

  4. You actually make it seem really easy along with your presentation but I to
    find this topic to be actually something that I
    believe I would never understand. It seems too complicated and very
    vast for me. I’m taking a look ahead for your next submit, I
    will attempt to get the dangle of it!

  5. When some one searches for his required thing, thus he/she wishes to be available that in detail, therefore that
    thing is maintained over here.

  6. Lashunda 1 year ago

    Hey! This post couldn’t be written any better! Reading this post
    reminds me of my old room mate! He always kept chatting about this.
    I will forward this write-up to him. Pretty sure he will
    have a good read. Many thanks for sharing!

  7. James Frazer Mann 1 year ago

    What’s up mates, how is everything, and what you desire to say
    concerning this piece of writing, in my view its really awesome designed for me.

  8. code scanner types 1 year ago

    Do you have a spam issue on this blog; I also am a blogger, and I was wondering your situation; we have created some nice methods and we are looking to trade
    solutions with other folks, please shoot me an e-mail if interested.

  9. estate agent 1 year ago

    I am really loving the theme/design of your web site.
    Do you ever run into any browser compatibility issues? A few of my
    blog audience have complained about my site not working correctly
    in Explorer but looks great in Safari. Do you have any solutions to help fix
    this issue?

  10. fake view 12 months ago

    kK7nE8 This page truly has all the info I needed concerning this subject and didn at know who to ask.

  11. Malatya Son Dakika 12 months ago

    Really appreciate you sharing this blog. Really Great.

  12. Prince2 12 months ago

    There as noticeably a bundle to know about this. I presume you made sure good factors in options also.

  13. magic mushrooms 12 months ago

    I think other web site proprietors should take this web site as an model, very clean and wonderful user friendly style and design, let alone the content. You are an expert in this topic!

  14. Way cool! Some extremely valid points! I appreciate you writing this article and also the rest of the website is also very good.

  15. Lawyers in Phuket 12 months ago

    Its hard to find good help I am forever proclaiming that its hard to find quality help, but here is

  16. kursy parikmaherov 12 months ago

    Wow! Thank you! I constantly wanted to write on my blog something like that. Can I include a part of your post to my blog?

  17. hina investments 12 months ago

    Valuable information. Lucky me I found your website by accident, and I am shocked why this accident did not happened earlier! I bookmarked it.

  18. Permanent Makeup 12 months ago

    Wow, what a video it is! Actually nice feature video, the lesson given in this video is truly informative.

  19. sales funnel 12 months ago

    There is evidently a bundle to identify about this. I suppose you made certain good points in features also.

  20. Celine 12 months ago

    There is clearly a bundle to realize about this. I assume you made certain nice points in features also.

  21. obat hammer 12 months ago

    The Birch of the Shadow I think there may perhaps be a few duplicates, but an exceedingly helpful listing! I have tweeted this. Numerous thanks for sharing!

  22. Paket wisata malaysia 12 months ago

    Wow! Thank you! I continuously wanted to write on my website something like that. Can I take a part of your post to my website?

  23. Dayton 12 months ago

    your intelligence on just posting videos to your site when you

  24. I was recommended this blog by my cousin. I am not sure whether this post is written by him as no one else know such detailed about my problem. You are wonderful! Thanks!

  25. Its hard to find good help I am forever proclaiming that its hard to procure good help, but here is

  26. Alarmanlage Berlin 11 months ago

    You made some good points there. I looked on the net for more info about the issue and found most individuals will go along with your views on this web site.

  27. This particular blog is without a doubt awesome as well as amusing. I have discovered a bunch of useful advices out of this source. I ad love to visit it every once in a while. Cheers!

  28. bokep jepang xxx 11 months ago

    There is visibly a bunch to realize about this. I feel you made various nice points in features also.

  29. jav uncensored 11 months ago

    information. I am bookmarking and will be tweeting this

  30. penyebab kutil kelamin 11 months ago

    Whats up. Very cool blog!! Man.. Excellent.. Amazing.. I all bookmark your website and take the feeds alsoI am glad to find numerous useful information here in the post. Thank you for sharing

  31. Wohh exactly what I was looking for, regards for putting up.

  32. Gym Expert 11 months ago

    pretty helpful stuff, overall I think this is worthy of a bookmark, thanks

  33. crafted sofa 11 months ago

    Wow, what a video it is! Really fastidious quality video, the lesson given in this video is actually informative.

  34. longboard 11 months ago

    Well I really liked reading it. This tip procured by you is very helpful for accurate planning.

  35. closest dispensary to me 11 months ago

    wholesale fabric designer apparel fabric emerges to you personally together with lowest price.

  36. Im no professional, but I believe you just crafted an excellent point. You obviously know what youre talking about, and I can actually get behind that. Thanks for being so upfront and so truthful.

  37. uvb treatment What are the laws on republishing newspaper articles in a book? Are there copyright issues?

  38. I truly appreciate this post. I have been looking everywhere for this! Thank God I found it on Bing. You have made my day! Thank you again.

  39. loftconversionslondon 11 months ago

    pretty helpful stuff, overall I believe this is well worth a bookmark, thanks

  40. eNPS 11 months ago

    out. I like what I see so now i am following you.

  41. Marrakech desert tours 11 months ago

    In any case I all be subscribing to your rss feed and I hope

  42. unusual greeting cards 11 months ago

    Looking around I like to look around the internet, regularly I will go to Digg and read and check stuff out

  43. TSX Today 11 months ago

    Its hard to find good help I am forever saying that its hard to procure good help, but here is

  44. Very interesting details you have noted , thanks for posting.

  45. Way cool! Some extremely valid points! I appreciate you writing this article and also the rest of the site is very good.

  46. ottawa movers 11 months ago

    You can certainly see your enthusiasm in the work you write. The world hopes for more passionate writers such as you who aren at afraid to say how they believe. All the time go after your heart.

  47. You made some decent points there. I did a search on the topic and found most people will agree with your website.

  48. Dispensary 11 months ago

    There is perceptibly a lot to identify about this. I consider you made some good points in features also.

  49. pallet breaking tool 11 months ago

    The material from this valuable blog is really interesting.

  50. internet ngo 11 months ago

    It is in reality a nice and helpful piece of information. I am satisfied that you shared this helpful info with us. Please stay us up to date like this. Thanks for sharing.

  51. Condos for sale 11 months ago

    I take pleasure in, lead to I found just what I used to be taking a look for. You ave ended my four day long hunt! God Bless you man. Have a nice day. Bye

  52. This blog is no doubt cool additionally amusing. I have chosen a bunch of useful things out of this amazing blog. I ad love to return again and again. Cheers!

  53. Shakira and Taylor Appreciating the time

  54. Thanks for sharing, this is a fantastic article. Awesome.

  55. Many thanks for Many thanks for making the effort to line all this out for people like us. This kind of article was quite helpful to me.

  56. lagunatide.com 11 months ago

    I wouldn at mind writing a post or elaborating on a few of the subjects you write with regards to here.

  57. Nannik TV 11 months ago

    Thanks so much for the blog.Thanks Again. Will read on

  58. inspirational tee shirts 11 months ago

    indeed, as bryan caplan suggests, in the past the zeal of an insurer to guard

  59. Dublin Physiotherapy 11 months ago

    This blog is without a doubt interesting additionally amusing. I have picked helluva helpful tips out of this amazing blog. I ad love to come back every once in a while. Cheers!

  60. Top Trending 11 months ago

    It cаА аЂаn bаА аЂа• seeen and ju?ged only by watching the

  61. thigh brace 11 months ago

    Your golfing ask to help you arouse your recollection along with improve the

  62. same topics discussed here? I ad really like to be a part of

  63. It’s impressive that you are getting ideas from this piece of writing as well as from our argument made
    at this time.

  64. I do trust all the ideas you have presented
    in your post. They are really convincing and will
    definitely work. Nonetheless, the posts are very quick for
    newbies. May you please prolong them a bit from next time?

    Thank you for the post.

  65. It is in point of fact a nice and useful piece of info.

    I’m happy that you shared this helpful information with us.
    Please keep us up to date like this. Thanks for sharing.

  66. iphone 8 plus đài loan 11 months ago

    I went over this site and I conceive you have a lot of great info, saved to bookmarks (:.

  67. Thanks-a-mundo for the post. Really Great.

  68. bored piling machine 11 months ago

    Thanks for every other informative web site. The place else
    may just I am getting that kind of info written in such an ideal means?
    I’ve a venture that I’m just now working on, and
    I have been on the look out for such info.

  69. the book in it or something. I think that you

  70. Age Calculator 10 months ago

    It as difficult to find well-informed people in this particular subject, however, you seem like you know what you are talking about! Thanks

  71. Apa Saja Gejala Ambeien 10 months ago

    Pengobatan Wasir Bandung

    We like to honor many other world wide web sites around the internet, even if they are Wohh exactly what I was looking for, appreciate it for putting up.

  72. Apa Itu Tes Hpv DiNias Barat

    Pin BB DA4C5F4E.

  73. Your style is really unique in comparison to other folks I have read stuff from. Thanks for posting when you’ve got the opportunity, Guess I’ll just bookmark this web site.

  74. You are so cool! I do not believe I’ve read anything like this before. So wonderful to find someone with some genuine thoughts on this subject. Seriously.. thanks for starting this up. This website is one thing that is needed on the internet, someone with a bit of originality!

  75. Too many cooks 5 months ago

    These two better settle their score now before everything ends up burnt!

  76. Sell property online 5 months ago

    You’re so cool! I don’t believe I have read through anything like this before. So nice to find another person with a few genuine thoughts on this subject. Really.. many thanks for starting this up. This web site is one thing that is needed on the web, someone with a little originality!

  77. propertyhosting 5 months ago

    N 43 N41 N39 N 37 N35 N33 should be in Maths section not in English section.good work keep it up

  78. Nothing makes him more happy than reading a newspaper underneath a tree.

  79. Nothing is more relaxing than eating chocalate!

  80. This is what the future holds for kitty cats.

  81. Expect to see him when the restaurant opens every day.

  82. Son Battistoni 4 months ago

    I can’t believe how great this site is. You keep up the good work. That’s my advice pal.

  83. Penney Reindel 4 months ago

    Just fabulous. Who wrote this and how can we get more?

  84. Florencia Berthold 4 months ago

    You sure did a lot of research for this wonderfully written article.

  85. Funny Website 4 months ago

    Have a good laugh at this site.

  86. Empire Carpet 3 months ago

    I appreciate you sharing this blog.Much thanks again. Really Cool.

  87. butt plugs 3 months ago

    Thanks-a-mundo for the blog.Much thanks again. Much obliged.

  88. Thanks for the post. Really Cool.

  89. Vicinia Powai 3 months ago

    Tonight’s discussion with Eric Newton about the history and evolution of journalism answered an important question aspiring journalists might have- how can we shape the future of the media world? Newton informed us about the constantly changing patterns of the media. He concluded with the future of journalism and what it ultimately holds for writers and reporters involved in this field. As students from the millennial generation, we have the power to affect our future and make even further progress with the digital age. Newton discussed the unknown influence of science fiction writers and how they “used their imaginations” to create a story and see their vision come to fruition. It is stimulating that a successful journalist encourages his audience to “think crazy” and write unconventionally in order to produce thriving stories. The only idea that I find hard to accept is the future of the hyper media and discovery of artificial intelligence. Understanding the history and fast-developing technology, this concept seems likely but also shocking that it could potentially happen in our lifetime. Throughout every generation, however, journalism is similarly defined: “the extensive search for truth” and a source for providing critical information to people helping to build and improve society.

  90. Tonight’s Must See Monday event feels like an important one; besides the fact of double extra credit, people here seem generally interested in the lecture taking place tonight. Walking into the First Amendment Forum today, I was shocked to see the mass amount of people crammed among the floor. I am currently stuck up on the third level sitting in a chair taken from a nearby classroom. This shows to me that finally some people may be beginning to care about these events; and if any, this one is the most important. Newton spent the event time frame discussing the entire world of Journalism: from the past to the present and everything in between. It was incredibly interesting to see how far we have come. He spoke of numerous statistics, one of which spoke out to me. It explained that half of journalist students believed there would not be any/or relevant changes in the next five years. Looking back five years ago, we are a completely different world.

  91. I really like looking through an article that can make men and women think. Also, many thanks for permitting me to comment!

  92. Way cool! Some extremely valid points! I appreciate you writing this article and the rest of the website is very good.

  93. +1 217-441-2563 Carpet Cleaning Springfield IL 1101 Kingshighway Springfield, IL 62702

  94. finger family song 2 months ago

    Great, thanks for sharing this blog article. Really Cool.

  95. Эфир 2 months ago

    “There is obviously a bunch to identify about this. I think you made certain good points in features also.”

  96. Custom Patches 2 months ago

    This Must See Monday’s Speaker Series featured Eric Newton, Senior Advisor to the President of the John S. and James L. Knight Foundation. He highlighted “A History of the Future of News: What 1767 Tells Us About 2110.” Newton used history to explain and predict the future for journalism. First, he stated we must accept the fact that we are in a digital age and no one knows what is going to happen next. Every generation is growing up with different forms of media. Continual technological advances create new outlets for news, making all future generations expect different things. “We predict the future based on what we know,” which is wrong because it doesn’t open up the possibility for new ideas to come. Another interesting factor in predicting the future, is looking at Science Fiction. Because this genre dreams up new possibilities, it doesn’t limit the imagination. For example, Skype, cell phones, and the iPad were all used in science fiction entertainment decades ago. What Newton predicts for the future, is that print will die, artificial intelligence and robotics will rise, and that media will become conversational. Information will become even more public and accessible to everyone. After that will follow “Bio Media”, or actual media implants that don’t require separate gadgets. “Hyper Media” will follow that with actual cranial downloads that are delivered straight into your mind. “Omni Media” finishes it off with thought projection and telepathy. This lecture was extremely thought provoking and enlightening in expanding the horizons that media will possibly one day stretch into. It is mind blowing to fathom the ideas Newton suggested, yet they are all entirely possible.

  97. Really appreciate you sharing this blog article.

  98. A round of applause for your post. Want more.

  99. The best face cream 1 month ago

    A big thank you for your post. Really Cool.

  100. Eric Newton’s Must See Monday presentation was one of the best presentations I’ve ever seen. I had never thought of history repeating itself in such specific patterns that Eric Newton explained. His descriptions of how journalism stems through technology and is the basis of improvement for society’s timeline. Machines have always been prophesied in pop culture and media to take one the human race, and the “Singularity” event that Newton explained again added evidence to the speculation of the machine takeover. It seems as though humans are driving themselves to non-existence by improving our lives through the help of machines. However, I believe that technology will never slow down. The incentive of a higher quality of living is too high, and not many think of the potential consequences of “BioMedia” or “HyperMedia.” Eric Newton’s presentation was very interesting and sparked a lot of new ideas.

  101. Central Ohio 4 weeks ago

    The Must See Monday presented tonight was unbelievable. Eric Newton, presidential advisor of the Knight Foundation, spoke about the progress man, as a species, has made since 1767. He organized the presentation based on innovations and their respective impacts on the world. Mr. Newton stated that a crisis occurs approximately eighty years, a shockingly accurate statement. He also said that all the advancements in technology, as beneficial as they may be, ultimately would lead to WW3.0. Newton also pointed out how current devices were conceived in past media: Skype from the Jetsons, cell phones in Star Trek, and concepts for future cityscapes. However, from this will arise WW4.0, humans vs. robots: the ultimate showdown and the cliché science fiction theme. Such a possibility is scary to consider, because 2040 is not that far away. Newton reassured us that there are 7 billion reasons none of it will happen. It still did not settle the mood because he ended the presentation with “it’s crazy, so it just might happen.”

  102. columbus Ohio 3 weeks ago

    hi… Tonight’s Must See Monday event feels like an important one; besides the fact of double extra credit, people here seem generally interested in the lecture taking place tonight. Walking into the First Amendment Forum today, I was shocked to see the mass amount of people crammed among the floor. I am currently stuck up on the third level sitting in a chair taken from a nearby classroom. This shows to me that finally some people may be beginning to care about these events; and if any, this one is the most important. Newton spent the event time frame discussing the entire world of Journalism: from the past to the present and everything in between. It was incredibly interesting to see how far we have come. He spoke of numerous statistics, one of which spoke out to me. It explained that half of journalist students believed there would not be any/or relevant changes in the next five years. Looking back five years ago, we are a completely different world.

Leave a reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*

CONTACT US

We're not around right now. But you can send us an email and we'll get back to you, asap.

HomePrivacy PolicyTerms Of Use

support@libridetalk.com

631-901-6603

©2018 LiBrideTalk.com

 
or

Log in with your credentials

or    

Forgot your details?

or

Create Account